Full Circle

I was raised in denomination churches. I was baptized as a baby in the Methodist church, and attended there as a child. I was also brought to a Catholic church as a child because my mother was Catholic. After my parents divorced, I had a chance to convert Catholicism. But for some reason, I did not want to. Going through my youthful rebellious stage, and living in an apartment on my own, I attended my local Methodist church, but didn't feel right because I didn't feel good enough. Years passed and I became involved with an abusive man. We were living together and I got pregnant with his child. This man, ironically was a Christian. His stepfather had a preaching degree. Even while living in sin he encouraged me to seek the Lord. As things got worse, I felt stuck in this relationship and cried out to the Lord to get me out of this situation. After going to a battered women's shelter, and not being able to find affordable housing here in NY, I was led to Kokomo, IN where I had a friend who was not a Christian. But there were a lot of Christians there and God put people in my life to help me reconcile to him. It was amazing how he worked in my life. I was in a Bible teaching spirit filled Charismatic church. We had altar calls and when the preachers prayed for me, they'd lay hands on me and I'd be slain in the spirit, and it felt so good. I always knew I needed repentance of my sins. The night I got baptized as an adult was amazing. It was not planned and I had no towel with me, but I was not cold or feel wet. I truly felt reconciled to God.
Fast forward years later. I moved back to NY and married my now husband who was attending an Episcopal church. The preacher's sermons made no sense to me and they sounded philosophical rather than from the word of God. I sensed no spirit there. So we searched and searched for many years for a church and 5 years later we found a nice church that seem to combine the less Charismatic church but the word was preached. We loved the people. After awhile I got tired of the "lack of spirit" in that church, missing the charismatic church. But I later found out that that's not what worship is about. It's not about our feeling good in church. Worship is our time of communication with God. Giving him our love and praising him no matter how we feel. God is good and is worthy of our praise at all times, in good times and bad. It's vital that we hear his word and that Christ was crucified for our sins. Yes, we may come away feeling good, but I have discovered in my search and scriptures that it's not about me, it's about him. He wants me to know him and he reveals himself through scriptures. So I've come full circle. I've read through the Bible one time and been trying to reread it. I am back in a liturgical service in a denomination that comes closest to the Biblical church. I didn't want to go back to the Episcopal church which ordains homosexual and women clergy. The priest at the church where my husband and I were married has left and was replaced by a gay priest. I didn't want to join an Evangelical Lutheran church, where they sit on the fence on the homosexual clergy and women priests. I want to be in a church where Christ and him crucified is preached. A church that teaches that we need to repent of our sins daily. We are all sinners and I think the problem with many charismatic churches is that they tend to be seeker sensitive. They try to draw people in and do not tell people "what to do next after they've asked Jesus into their heart." I have come to strongly disagree with this. There are too many false converts in the church today. So we are now in a Lutheran church of the Missouri Synod. Transitioning churches hasn't been easy. Our new church is a bit further from the church we attended and we haven't been able to get there every Sunday. As I type, we are on our way there now. Please keep us in prayer that we be able to grow closer to Jesus as a family. I do believe that by my parents bringing me to a denomination church as a child, the seed was planted. What I do with my life after church is MY responsibility. If I sin, I must call on Christ for forgiveness of sins and ask for help for repentance from that sin. I am eternally grateful to my parents for bringing me to church as a child. I do believe that God seeks us to come to him and to know him and invites us to a relationship through his son Jesus Christ. I pray that all I know will do the same. Blessings!